A Sharp Tongue

It is a necessity when ranting and raving out loud. That, plus matching gesticulations and a wide vocabulary in both english and visayan makes for a very interesting fit.

When the feeling of disappoinment sinks to the pit of your stomach and stays there, immediately find someone who enjoys a colorful ranting rampage; don't wait until you get nauseated. Slap the table or whatever solid, stable object is at hand; but not too hard because that'll hurt. Use colorful language and the necessary tone(s) of voice but see to it that you won't be heard by them; you are therefore required to look around and see if anyone unpalatable is nearby. The face has lots of muscles; use them all to convey what's really in your mind and your brain will take care to coordinate with your arm muscles so your gesticulations and widened eyes will match. Laugh at yourself while at it, and get your chosen listener to participate by giving him/her/it the chance to say something...pahirita pud bah!

Now that you've exhausted your larynx cos you're not used to talking that loud, you may start to whine. Remember not to overdo it cos that tends to get annoying. Here, your gesticulations may be smaller or absent, your face may stay with one expression (a "sorrowful" one matches the whining) and your voice should be at a lower volume but you should still use varying tones. Again, use humor on your situation so your listener will look forward to such episodes of yours and allow him/her/it to participate.

Then you'll get hungry but you wouldn't want to eat cos your throat is sore from all that ranting and too much cigarettes. Drink some water and try not to think about the budding migraine that's been bugging you the whole day. Go home, turn up the music loud, and blog til hunger gnaws whatever other feelings away.

Kaon sa ta na...

O.D.

I overdosed on my sleeping pill but not the kind to D.O.A. me (I took a whole pill instead of half. Anybody interested? hehe!). I'm just too groggy to think straight right now. I just woke up. "ehhhh..." is how i feel. go figure.

Our house is a bigger mess than usual, we're doing a general cleaning after n-years of putting up with the clutter. Don't worry, it'll gonna get just messy in a few months, leave it to my sister.

I'm nearly broke. Spend a portion of my moolah on my meds just so my ma would quit complaining about how much she spends on my meds. Oh well. Another portion of my handed-over money goes to jeepney fares for when i have to escort my pregnant sister to the doctor or else buy kiamoy for the other pregnant sister. Good thing my pregnant cats do not crave for anything but then their food is more expensive than fare or kiamoy. bleah!

Today will get better, or so I tell myself. It will get better even if I'll be flexing a lot of muscles to carry this, pull that, move this box and find a place for this possibly-useful-junk.

I'll need a whole lot of chocolate for this and good loud music.

Macy Gray: You are related to a psycopath, your role model's in therapy. You must be real fucked up, you're related to a psycopath.

TADA!

the techi idiot gets a tagboard. worked all morning on straightening out this blog. still got some problems but that's way better than what i saw earlier. teehee!

CMSci 1 helped some (a lot, i should say) cos i got no help daw on this. Hoy, it's not plain tagboard.com, it's tag-board.com.

i need glucose for my overworked brain.

The Crone

An old flame which never quite dies, you carry around an ember of in your pocket. Slowly, slowly, it sears through the haven in which it lies buried and stings your skin in a warmth of pain and half-remembered memories.

The daydream begins with a slow smile, foggy in your mind, a kind word, ending with a kiss of such sweetness never to be forgotten nor had. You hold on to this half-hidden picture in your mind’s eye and care that the world knows not of this hidden desire.

But the ember has been fanned and out seeps a tongue of flame, bringing with it the black fringes of a singed soul amongst the vibrant color of its life, short though it may be. You play with the fire, in your mind, you seem to think with your heart, you are blinded by its new-ness, forgotten as you have buried it. Like a moth drawn to light, you repeatedly try to possess what is not meant to be yours and in the end, succumb to death: of the flame or of yourself.

Remember to forgive yourself when all this has come to pass. Life is indeed short and there are no retakes, no rewinds. Be that as it may, take kindness where you can and give back such care; do not regret what has been for this will only cause you pain.

Do the Moonwalk

I could drop dead right here, right now; I'd do the moonwalk on cloud 9 (not the bar!); I could eat shit and not notice.

Alright, so all this good feeling will eventually evaporate and be lost to the wind. I'll have a day as bad as this one's good, but I'm not looking forward to that; I'm savoring this fluid cocoon of "good vibes" (as jaybee would put it) which currently envelop me. I can feel the starry-ness of my eyes. Wehehehe! Ang corni! Sa mainggit lang...

I'm loving the feel of the natural high. I-n-s-o-m-nia land, here I am.

It's omerta as usual. Goodnight & sweet dreams!